Oh Hell to the No
by AngelOfStory
Summary: Castiel is almost 18, and he will (hopefully) find his soul mate through the whole glowing chest thing. But when a bully (Dean) comes near him, surprises happen. And they both kind of hate it. A lot.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey lovelies! I've been working on chapter 2 but I want it to be perfect so it may still take some time! Follow my tumblr - AngelRahmiel - to get updates on this fanfic and others! Ciao my angels.**

Castiel hated homeroom. It was one of the two classes he had with the notorious Dean Winchester, who made his life a living hell. Every morning, Castiel sat with his nose in a book while Dean pelted his back with spit balls and paper airplanes. Mr. Gadreel droned on, talking about the upcoming dance and how juniors cannot park in the senior lot. The whole thing was very boring to Castiel, so much of the time he just read, trying to drown out Gadreels voice and Dean's paper balls.

As much as Castiel would not like to admit it, he knew a lot more about Dean than most people. Since he was the quiet individual, people carelessly gossiped around him and he got the juiciest of news most of the time. He knew Dean's parents were both dead, he had a kid brother, and was living with his uncle who wasn't really his uncle.

Castiel knew a lot more, like the fact Dean was an Aquarius, had a beautiful Chevy for a car, and wasn't actually as much of a jerk as he liked to think so. As much as Castiel hated Dean for how much he bullied the younger, Castiel also admired him. Castiel saw him every now and then at the grocery store with a tiny brother, who was always running around excitedly. Dean would see Castiel and give him a gentle half smile, nothing like what Castiel was used to at school.

He knew what it was like to live without parents and to take care of a sister and brother all by yourself. Castiel could empathize with the pain Dean was so obviously feeling. He lost his parents when he was 10 and has been caring for his sister, Anna (15), and his brother, Samandriel (12) since. It helped a lot that Gabriel, his older brother, was there too. So he let the bullying continue, guessing it made Dean feel better about himself.

Dean hasn't been paired yet with anyone, despite being 18 for five months already. People seem to think he's too much of a ladies' man to have a soul mate. Others argue that he's too much of a douche for anyone to seriously love him. Castiel suspected maybe he just wasn't in the right place to be paired, or it wasn't the right time.

He couldn't wait until he was 18 and was paired with his soul mate. He would 'find his true love by the glow of his heart' as the pamphlet his dork brother had got him said. Once you found your true soul mate, nobody could bother you. Or at least, that's what Castiel thought. As he could recall, the pamphlet said; "By a glow of your heart, you will find your soul mate. Once you make it to the age of 18, the search begins. Do not fear, for when you find your soul mate, it is perfect."

Castiel could never recall of hearing of a pairing that didn't get together. Yeah, sometimes a person from a couple would die and the other person would mourn greatly. But eventually they would move on with their life. Castiel never wanted that to happen to him, he didn't know what he would do if his soul mate died prematurely.

His birthday was in two days, and he was practically humming with excitement. He was currently reading a love story between a paired couple, when the bell rang. Standing, he shouldered his bag and began making his way out the door. He barely noticed the foot that snuck out to trip him as he made his way out of homeroom. He simply stepped over it, lost in thought about who his soul mate would be.

Making his way to his locker, Castiel muttered some apologies to students he got pushed in to. He unlocked it with ease and began gathering the books he would need for his classes. Next up was history, then AP Calc, then lunch. His schedule was pretty rough after that, but Castiel was excited for the upcoming debates in government. He thought back to the last debate, and how heated it had gotten between two of the kids.

As he was grabbing his history binder from his locker, a hand curled around his neck. Before Castiel knew it, he was being shoved forward into the locker, head hitting the top and glasses toppling inside. His shoulders hit the sharp edges of the locker, and he let out a small hiss of pain at the contact. He steadied himself on his feet, taking a moment to catch his breath and hide the pain.

Scooping up his glasses; he turned around, prepared for what was next. There he was, in all his glory, Dean Winchester stood in front of Castiel, looking down on him like some mutt. There was a shit-eating grin gracing his face, and his eyebrows were pulled together in a sneer. Dean's cheeks and ears were tinged pink, almost making him look like an ethereal felony.

"So, Cas, got anything interesting for lunch today?" Dean's voice rang out in the hallway, successfully silencing anyone in range. Everyone gathered around in a small half-circle, prepared for the inevitable. Whenever Dean would speak to Castiel, everybody would gather around, excitement at the thought of a fight buzzing through the group.

Castiel pushed his nervousness down and shrugged carelessly, "Oh you know, a little bit of this, a little bit of that. Some of your mom's homemade apple pie too." Castiel ground out, letting his voice take on a character of its own. It was deeper than usual, with a touch of gravel to it. To him, it sounded menacing, but he knew to Dean it probably sounded pathetic. He couldn't bring himself to care.

He knew the mom talk would hit a chord with Dean, and it showed briefly on the jocks face. A flash of pain showed in his emerald green eyes, before they hardened once again. A shocked gasp went through the crowd, nobody ever messed with Dean's family. There was a story that one kid mocked his brother, and he never showed up to school again. People speculated that Dean killed him, but Castiel just assumed the kid transferred out of fear.

It was a second before Castiel had a reply, "oh, were you gonna share that with your boyfriend?" Dean winked at Castiel, feigning confidence as he tried to recover from the comment. Castiel smirked, knowing what to say next.

"Does that imply you are my boyfriend? 'Cause boy, does that make me disappointed." Castiel shot back, not letting the wink affect him. Castiel thought maybe Dean would reply with something to the effect of not being gay, but that didn't happen.

Instead, Castiel was punched squarely in the jaw, head snapping back and body falling against his open locker. A shout and gasps erupted from the large group around them as Castiel fell to a sitting position. He looked up to see Dean towering over him. A timid hand went to his cheek as Castiel hissed at the stinging pain; he most definitely did not expect that.

Dean looked absolutely terrifying, fists clenched, cheeks bright red, chest heaving with deep breaths. He looked as though he would spout fire from his mouth at any moment. There was almost a literal dark cloud over Dean's head, shadows casted across his face made him look like he was in a scary movie. Dean's fist looked to be bleeding, where he split his knuckles on Castiel's face. Somehow, it made the whole thing very surreal.

Castiel was legitimately scared. He knew that if Dean wanted to, he could beat the living pulp out of Castiel. A football player against a small nerd was no competition. He has seen Dean on the playing field, has seen him take down two people with no problem at all. It was safe to say that Castiel was in trouble. Dean reached down and grabbed a handful of Castiel's collar, yanking him to his feet.

He stood unsteadily on his feet, one hand clutching at Dean's sweater sleeve, the other reaching for something to defend himself with behind him. There was nothing, though, and he raised his other hand to try and push at Dean's chest. Dean's other hand came down quickly, giving a sharp and painful jab to Castiel's abdomen.

Immediately, Castiel was doubled over in pain, both hands clutching at his stomach. He could feel bile rising in his throat, mixed with blood. His body screamed in pain, stomach churning unsteadily. Already, Castiel could feel a large bruise beginning to bloom. He could feel a yelp of pain rise in his throat, but he hurriedly swallowed it down, not wanting to show how hurt he was.

A less-than-gentle hand slipped into his unruly hair, and he was yanked up once again to look Dean in the eye. They were face to face, so close Castiel could feel the pure fury coming off of Dean in waves of heat. Castiel could see every detail of Dean's face; his freckles, his eyelashes, even the split lip he was given the last game. "Don't ever say that to me again. In fact, don't even talk about me or my family." Dean said, his voice threateningly low so that only Castiel could hear it.

Castiel gulped back the rising blood, trying to contain his fear. He nodded shakily, hands still resting on his stomach, trying to protect himself from another jab. Dean pushed Castiel once more into the locker, laughing at the sight of him on the floor. He gave Castiel one more dirty look, before he turned away. Walking with swagger, he made a grand exit.

As soon as he was out of sight, people dissipated, and Castiel spit blood into his hand. "Are you okay?" A voice asked above him, and he looked up to see a girl with her hair on fire. Everything was blurry, and Castiel's vision swam as he tried to focus on the girl in front of him. He recognized her as Charlie Bradbury, geek student and best friend to Dean Winchester. It was a wonder why she was there talking to Castiel, considering her relationship with said bully.

She kneeled down, holding a tissue in her hand and gingerly patting the side of Castiel's mouth. He tried to weakly push her away, muttering, "Please, I don't want to be in more trouble with him." She tutted at him, firmly planted in place. She continued dabbing at his mouth, wiping off what Castiel assumed was blood.

"Oh, please, if he has something to say about this, he will have to go through me." The tone she used was serious, but it was presented in a joking manner. She sighed, more to herself than anything, "I hate when he does this. He doesn't mean it; you know? Sometimes he just loses control of himself." Charlie shook her bright red hair, staring down at her hands.

Castiel got the feeling she wasn't really meaning to say this, only trying to comfort him in some way. He put a gentle hand over hers, patting it reassuringly. She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and gave a grateful smile. He understood that there was more to the story than what he saw, but he knew now was not the time to ask.

It probably wouldn't ever be the time to ask. Castiel was interested, but he knew it was none of his business. Besides, Dean would have his ass if Charlie told a secret he didn't want getting out. He rose to his feet, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. He gathered up what he could of his locker, trying to make it as neat as possible.

He got the feeling Charlie wasn't going to leave anytime soon, so he looked sideways at her, watching her on the ground. She fiddled with the bloody tissue, mouth opening and closing like a fish. Once the locker was as clean as it was going to get, considered Castiel now had two broken shelves, he turned back to Charlie.

Offering his clean hand, he helped Charlie to her feet. He nodding his thanks to her, offering a small smile. She returned the gesture, looking a little more comfortable than she had a few minutes ago. He mumbled something about washing his hands and turned to leave. "I'll see you later, Castiel." She said in a small voice. It was odd for him, hearing her in such a manner. Usually she was loud and bright, very exuberant. But now she seemed like a scolded child.

He walked away slowly, allowing her time to stop him but all she did was stare at his back. He knew she wanted to say something, but he couldn't bring himself to listen about Dean any longer. He didn't know what he felt about Dean, sometimes hatred for how he treated Castiel. But he could also see a tender side whenever Dean was with his kid brother, Sam.

Castiel's feelings were confusing the hell out of him. The guy had just beaten him up for chrissakes. He hated what he had said to Dean, feeling sick at thinking about it again. He had really stuck a chord with Dean. Sure, he had been hit a few times, but never like this. The pure fury that Dean was giving off was enough to make Castiel's hair stand on end. Luckily, there were no teachers around that time, so hopefully neither of them would get in trouble.

Yeah, he was angry at Dean for what he had done to him, but he couldn't help but feel the sadness Dean always seemed to emit. Castiel didn't think anyone else noticed, but Dean was almost crying for help with his body language every time Castiel saw him. Hell if Castiel was going to do anything about it though. It wasn't his problem! Dean could deal with his problems like an adult like the rest of us.

Castiel felt a strong headache coming on, and put a hand to his forward. He groaned in annoyance, deciding it was probably best to go home and lay low. He made his way to the nurse, keeping his head low as he walked. A few of Dean's crew catcalled at him, calling him names and throwing paper balls at him. Castiel could easily ignore it though, and kept to himself.

He greeted the nurse once he arrived, successfully feigned illness (which wasn't hard considering he looked like crap) and left school with ease. He walked up to his corvette, seeing the black Chevy parked a few spaces down. He could see someone inside, moving around. Loud music was coming from the car, and Castiel tsked his displeasure.

Opening his door, he slipped inside and started up the engine. He put the car into reverse and backed out with ease. When he drove past the Chevy, he looked inside to see Dean staring angrily at his steering wheel. He clicked his tongue, thinking about how Dean must be feeling.

Castiel wondered if he felt guilty for what he had done, although knowing Dean, it wasn't likely. He turned back to his driving, and pulled away from the school. The drive home was uneventful, and soon enough he was in front of his own house.

It was a small thing, although he would guess that others would think it was big. He could remember the red siding of his old house, before his parents died. That house was nearly the size of a mansion, and was so big Castiel would get lost from time to time. That was a long time ago, however, and the brown siding and blue window sills looked nothing like that memory.

This house was boring, no decorations other than a few pictures on the walls. Most of the walls were painted white, kept as plain and simple as possible. There were three rooms and two bathrooms. Anna had a room to herself, along with a connected bathroom. That bathroom was also connected with Gabriel's room, who shared with Samandriel.

Castiel had his own room in the attic, and while it was small and fairly simple, it was home to him. He kept a cat up with him, a small timid thing that honestly reminded him of himself. When Castiel let himself through the front door, he was immediately attacked by the fluffy gray thing. "Hey Tinkertoes, nice to see you too." He said, his voice low and soft as he spoke.

He laughed endearingly and picked her up, putting her on his shoulder. She curled around his neck and purred content. He climbed the stairs, hiding himself away in his room. He collapsed onto the bed with the cat on top of him. Easily, he sunk into the comfortable mattress and felt himself slip away.

Being completely worn out, he thought one small nap couldn't hurt a bit. So he slept, curled around his cat. His body ached with pain, and his head was throbbing but other than that, he was okay.


	2. Chapter 2

Castiel decided to brave school the next day with a bruised jaw and split lip. As he walked down the halls of the school, he kept his face mostly down to hide everything. He didn't get too many stares, most of the student body already well aware of what happened. Hell, a lot of them had been present for the fight yesterday. He did, however catch Sam Winchester staring at him in the cafeteria with sad eyes. A hand absently came to brush against his aching jaw as he kept the younger Winchester's stare.

Unfortunately, Castiel wasn't watching where he was going and bumped into someone in front of him. His head swiveled to the person in front of him as he started stammering out his apology. His words were caught in his throat when he saw that it was Dean he had ran into. Dropping his eyes to his feet, Castiel started backing away from the football player.

A warm, rough hand curled around his neck and Castiel was yanked forward. He stumbled forward on his feet when he felt Dean's arm be thrown around his shoulder. Dean pulled Castiel closely to his body and squeezed him uncomfortably tight. A shiver ran harshly through his spine as Dean stroked a soft finger up and down his arm.

"Hey there, cowboy, why don't you watch where you're going?" Dean said, southern draw in full affect. Castiel's head felt dizzy at the sudden change in motion yet again. He tried to speak, finding his words caught in his throat and he swallowed thickly. "I'm sorry, Dean." He mumbled once more, trying to push away from Dean. The arm around him pulled him back and gave him a hard squeeze once more.

"Where do you think we are going?" Dean said, getting angry and tightening his grip on Castiel. He turns both of them to the nearest wall and nearly threw Castiel up against it. All of his things were haphazardly dropped to the ground as his arms splayed out to catch himself. Castiel's heart catches in his throat and he sucks in air through his teeth. Dean brings a hand up to Castiel's face, and his finger draws where the bruise was.

With a shift of moment, the green-eyed man pressed into the bruise, making Castiel whimper in pain. He tried to move his head out of Dean's fingers but Dean only pressed harder. Tears were running down his cheeks now, and he shifted on his feet to get away. Gripping his chin, Dean turns Castiel's head so that he can whisper in his ear.

"Don't fucking run into me again, okay pretty boy?" Dean whispered in a threateningly low voice. The hot breath against his ear made Castiel violently shiver again. He nodded numbly against Dean's hand, one of his hands coming up to grasp his wrist.

Dean stared at Castiel thoughtfully for a moment before he released Castiel's chin and stepped back. "Good." Dean said cockily, flashing a smile to some of his friends that were surrounding them. Castiel's hand rubbed at his sore chin as he looked around, watching the faces of the people who had gathered around them.

Castiel was wildly afraid of Dean, he realized then. His jaw ached from where Dean's fingers clenched him and his stomach still felt pain from the punch yesterday. Dean could literally kill Castiel, and that fact scared him shitless. Tears were welling in his eyes again, the blue shining brightly as he watched everyone.

In a sudden rush, he gathered all of his binders and books into his arms again. Once everything was safely in his arms, Castiel practically sprinted to the bathroom. He could feel the tears beginning to flow freely, and he tried his best to hold them in for now. Entering the bathroom, Castiel let out a deep sigh and went to lean against the sinks.

Keeping his breaths deep, Castiel tried to keep a panic attack at bay. His heart fluttered painfully at the thought that Dean could affect him so easily. He dropped everything he had in his arms onto the semi-damp counter. Turning on the water, Castiel splashed cold water onto his face.

The loud running water kept Castiel from hearing the bathroom door open and somebody enter quietly. His hands cradled his flushed face when he felt a tug at the back of his shirt. He stood up quickly, wary of whoever was behind him. He locked eyes with the man behind him in the mirror and felt all the air rush out of his lungs.

It was Dean.

Dean looked almost apologetic, his eyes filled with worry and regret. Castiel was taken by surprise at the thought that Dean was sorry for what he did. One thing that Dean Winchester was not was sorry. Castiel turned around warily, scared blue eyes finding Dean's sad green ones.

Castiel morphed his face into that of uncaring with some difficulty. Crossing his arms over his chest, he lowered his voice as much as possible before saying, "What do you want?" The hurt flashing in Dean's eyes was almost enough to make him soften but he stood strong. Dean, however, switched from hurt to confusion to anger.

The strong emotion was apparent in Dean's green eyes, and his mouth was pulled down at the corners in a frown. His body began to shake and his face heated up as Dean became more and more angry. A growl escaped Dean's lips before Castiel felt a sudden jolt.

A sharp pain spread from his back, and Castiel absently thought that he hit the sink when he was pushed by Dean. Landing on his ass, Castiel looked up at Dean in terror. Dean looked down at Castiel with disgust as he heaved in deep breaths. Dean reached down for younger man, probably hoping to haul him up again but Castiel dodged him.

Backing up under the sink, Castiel slipped out of Dean's grasp. He felt himself shaking in fear and was reminded in a twisted way of a caged animal. Castiel was trapped. There was no way he could get away from Dean without passing by him. The fear in him was paralyzing, his breaths coming in strangled gasps.

It was unbelievable that he was in this situation again, Dean towering over him in a fiery rage. Him, cowered in the corner, scared for his life. Castiel watched in horror as Dean knelt down, leaning back onto his heels. Dean watched with a disinterest as Castiel tried to push back against the wall as much as possible. Time around them slowed when Dean began to reach for Castiel. That's when it happened.

A glow that started slowly in both men's chest were now bright enough to cause a distraction. It first caught Castiel's eyes, causing him to look down at Dean's navy blue shirt. The glow was circular, blurry around the edges and a bright green color. He cocked his head in confusion, eyes narrowing as his eyes darted back up to Dean's.

Dean, however, was no longer looking at Castiel and was instead look staring at Castiel's chest. He looked down at his own light gray shirt to find a similar glowing bulb. This time, however, it was light blue and trembling slightly. Everything clicked.

Dean was his soul mate.

Once it had clicked in both of their minds, they reeled back from each other in shock. DEAN WAS HIS SOUL MATE. "Oh hell no!" Castiel cried out, pushing away from him even more. Castiel stared at Dean, both men's eyes showing disgust and wariness. Castiel yelped in surprise when Dean moved forward to touch his chest. "What do you think you're doing?" Castiel yelled, loud enough for the sound to bounce off the walls.

"You're my… soulmate?" Dean said in awe, staring blankly at Castiel's chest. He shook his head lightly, confused and surprised. Castiel batted away Deans reaching hand again, his lips pulling down in a frown. "Stop it Dean, we aren't soul mates. There has to be some sort of mistake." Dean's eyes shifted from his chest to his eyes. In the green depths were a kind of youthfulness and innocence that Castiel frankly didn't know he had. It was quite apparent that Castiel was rejecting him so quickly, but he was in no way going to give Dean a chance.

Dean's eyes shifted back down to Castiel's chest, not focusing on what was in front of him. Castiel took this time to make a run for it, not wanting to be stuck in this room with Dean any longer. He dashed forward from under the sink and stood up to reach for the door. "No!" The man still on the floor yelped, wrapping his arms around Castiel's feet.

Falling forward, Castiel gave a shout and put his arms out to brace for impact. Luckily, the he wasn't too hurt from the fall, only hitting his chin on the ground. Although this caused him bite down very hard. He groaned in pain, rolling onto his back slowly and rubbing his now very injured jaw.

Dean crawled his way up to Castiel's body and straddled him near his stomach. He grabbed the other man's wrists easily and pinned them above his head. Castiel gasped loudly, head lolling to the side as he stared up at Dean. The man stared back, his face expressing extreme sadness and pain. Perhaps it was his imagination, but Castiel even saw hope in his eyes. It was confusing, and he scrunched up his face. None of this was making sense.

"Let me go, Dean." Castiel whispered softly, eyes hopelessly wide and staring. He watched the cogs and wheels turning in Dean's head as he processed. His eyebrows raised slowly, eyes shining with near tears. "Please, I've waited for so long for this. Please don't fight me." Dean cried out, falling down onto Castiel's body.

All Castiel could do was lay there as Dean wept into his neck. What could he possibly say that would make this situation better? "Everybody find's their soulmate so soon, I've waited for so long. Please, it's been so hard." Dean mumbled into Castiel's neck. His voice broke, making Castiel's heart clench in sympathy. He stopped trying to fight against Dean's strong hands against his wrist, instead going limp on the floor.

"Dean." Castiel said pathetically, heaving a heavy sigh. His heart hurt, knowing this must be hurting Dean. It was a mistake though, there was no way THEY could be soul mates. They were complete opposite, not to mention Dean had been bullying Castiel for years. Soul mates were supposed to know each other, understand each other. There was no doubt that Dean wouldn't care what Castiel did with his free time.

How did this happen before his birthday? He was going to have to deal with this.


	3. Chapter 3

**I'M SORRY FOR BEING LATE**

Castiel ran out of the bathroom once he pushed Dean roughly off of him. He left Dean rumpled on the floor, staring up at him with wide, terrified eyes. He couldn't handle this. Castiel ran through the halls, ignoring the strange looks from his fellow classmates. He kept his head mostly down, dodging the books and bodies flying everywhere. Tears were beginning to stream down his face slowly, and he wiped at them.

Bursting out the front doors of the school, Castiel skidded to a stop and bent down. Hands on his knees, his chest heaved deeply as he tried to keep a panic attack at bay. Dean wasn't his soul mate. There was no way a man so rude and ignorant could be made for Castiel. He didn't' deserve this, he thought has his breathing picked up and his stomach clenched uncomfortably. Nothing was right, the whole world was turning against him.

Falling down to his hands and knees, Castiel's body collapsed underneath him. His tears and nose dripped to the ground below him as he breathed loudly and unevenly. He was hyperventilating, uncomfortably fast breathing that hurt his chest. I don't want this, I don't want this, was repeated as a mantra in Castiel's head. He coughed, his mouth foaming and getting stuck in his throat. Everything was closing up, causing Castiel to feel so claustrophobic. What did he do to deserve this?

"A gentle hand placed itself on his shoulder, and he flinched under the touch. He didn't bother raising his head, whoever it was would go away soon enough if he ignored him. Red hair dipped down into his vision and bright green eyes watched him. He locked eyes with Charlie, the girl next to him, as he coughed again. He wanted to be alone, but it was clear that wasn't going to happen. Her sad eyes watched him as her other hand came to frame his face.

He shivered in her hands, one hand coming to clutch at his throat. He scratched at it roughly, clenching it to try to show her what it felt like. Her eyebrows shot up into her perfectly trimmed bangs as she used her hand on Castiel's shoulder to push at him. He didn't understand and whimpered timidly as his body swayed under her hands. She pushed again and caught his body to gently laid him on the ground.

He shifted to his back, eyes staring blankly up at the sky as he hyperventilated. His vision was darkening, brain not getting enough oxygen. Charlie put her hand on his stomach and said with a commanding voice, "Make my hand move." Castiel's blue eyes shifted to her as he stared intently, trying to understand what was going on. "Do it." She commanded again, pushing down lightly to make her point.

"Trying his best, Castiel managed a shaky deep breath that made Charlie's hand raise lightly. "Good." Came the soft spot from the red-headed girl above him. "Again." Castiel hiccupped lightly, blowing out hot air between his lips. He closed his eyes, focusing on taking as deep of a breath as he could. He sucked in cool air between his lips and pushed Charlies hands up with his stomach. Watching her face, Castiel saw that she smiled in response.

After a few minutes of this weird breathing exercise Charlie was having him do, Castiel's breathing returned to a semi normal rate. His body shook violently, still charged with energy and anxiety but he closed his eyes in relaxation. One hand clutched Charlies, both hands hot and sweaty from exertion and emotion. Castiel took another deep breath in through his nose, blowing it out slowly and feeling his chest rise and lower with his control.

A shadow came to cover his face, and Castiel peaked an eye open, hoping to god it wasn't Dean. It wasn't the older Winchester, instead being the younger one. The giant loomed over him, sun surrounding him like a bright aura. Concern was written all over his features, blue hazel eyes tearing in terror. He knelt down, allowing the sun to once again hit Castiel's face. He squinted his eyes shut at it, body extra sensitive to the movements of the new person.

"Is he okay?" Sam's voice wavered slightly, whispering to Charlie. Castiel didn't hear a response, only a ruffle of clothing which he assumed was Charlie nodding. A cold hand timidly touched Castiel's cheek which he flinched away from. The hand pulled back, leaving Castiel's cheek cool. He opened his eyes to gaze up at the people above him. With his other hand, he grabbed for Sam's hand.

Squeezing it gently, Castiel smiled sweetly to show his thankfulness. Sam smiled sadly back down at him, squeezing in response. "I would like to get up." Castiel's voice stronger than he felt. He strained, moving to a sitting position on the hot asphalt ground. Hands gripped at his warms, helping him stand on unsteady feet. He wobbled for a moment, gripping the people's arms.

Slowly, he became steadier and dropped the hands. He looked back and forth between Sam and Charlie. Without another word, he turned and began to walk to his car. They followed him silently, exchanging looks behind his back. He reached blue safe haven, stroking the edges lovingly as he walked around to the door. Charlie's hand on his own at the door handle stopped him, and he looked up at her. "Let me drive." She said softly, eyes wide and pleading, "please."

Castiel nodded, letting go of the handle and looking down at his feet in shame. He was in no condition to drive, he realized, Charlie was right to take over. He made his way around to the passenger side, slipping easily into the semi-comfortable seat. Resting a hand on the dashboard, Castiel inhaled the flowery scent coming from his vents.

It was a familiar surrounding that comforted Castiel even further, as he slipped into down the seat a little. Charlie, buckled into the driver's seat, chuckled at Castiel's funny behavior. She looked at Sam, her eyes alight with a secret. He smiled softly at her, nodding his head slightly. Castiel saw it, but had no idea what it meant. And honestly, he wasn't that interested to know.

The ride in the car was relaxing with the windows rolled down and his favorite music blasting in their ears. He let his eyes close, hand hanging out the window, reveling in the feeling of cool air rushing past him. It was exhilarating and calming to him, his body slowly stopped shaking. He didn't realize that they weren't going to his house, instead pulling up to the Winchester's house.

"When the car stopped and the engine came to a spluttering stop, he opened his eyes. This wasn't his house. His throat immediately closed up as he stared up at what he knew was Sam and Dean's house. He looked at Charlie suspiciously, finding her green eyes staring at her with intent. This was their plan, he thought absently, a hand coming up to clench at his throat. Charlie's hand came to clench his wrist, pulling the hand away from his throat. "Breathe." She whispered.

"Together, they took a deep breath and let out the anxious air. Slowly, Castiel's throat opened back up and he was able to speak, "Why the fuck did you bring me here." He commanded, voice shaking and angry. He glared at the two of them, trying to show how angry he was. Sam and Charlie exchanged looks again, having a secret conversation. Sam was the one to speak, voice strong and unwavering this time, "We wanted to show you who Dean really is."

"Yeah, he's not who you think he is." Charlie pipes up, glancing up at a window on the second floor. That must be Dean's window. Castiel shifted in his seat, staring forward, jaw clenched in anger. This isn't what he needed nor wanted. This was stupid. Anger was building in his muscles and veins until he could no longer hold it in. With a yell he threw a fist into his dashboard. Pain laced up his arm immediately as he pulled it back and saw only a slight scuff on the leather. His knuckles however were in worst condition, skin split and bleeding.

He cradled the injured hand to his chest and spoke again. "Alright, let's get this over with." Pressing the button to release his seatbelt, he climbed out of his car. He stared up at the looming house in front of him, fear threatening to seize him once again. Sam came to stand by his left, watching him closely to gauge his reaction. Charlie clicked her tongue, causing Sam to throw a pair of keys at her haphazardly, eyes still trained on Castiel.

Castiel watched as Charlie caught the chain easily and lead the way to the front door. She opened it easily, pushing it open wide and walking in like she owned the place. Castiel followed, a little slower as he peered around at the front room. This place was a mess, books were stacked to the ceiling and papers strewn about. The walls had a deep red wallpaper on it, and a stone fireplace stood at the back wall. A gray couch was pushed up against the wall, and judging by the blanket and pillows on it, somebody had been sleeping on it.

He turned away, feeling out of place in this house. It looked well lived in and loved, nothing like what Castiel's house looked like. Charlie watched him, taking one of his hands to lead him up the stairs. He looked at the pictures on the wall, some were projects that children painted or made. There were a few older pictures of young Dean and Sam, hanging on each other with huge grins on their face. They looked so happy and young and carefree.

One of Castiel's hand came up to touch the picture. This Dean was nothing like the Dean in his life. A smile ghosted on his face as his hand fell back down to his side. He continued up the stairs, Sam following closely behind. At the top, Charlie waited, watching as Castiel took in each picture and haphazard project on the wall. He reached her, his eyes wide and uncertain as he was sure he knew what happened next. She turned away from him, leading the two boys down a hall to a door that had a torn piece of paper taped onto it.

"Keep Out!" it said, and Castiel couldn't help but laugh at the childishness. Charlie pushed open the door and stood back, allowing Castiel to enter first. He stepped inside, looking around and taking in the room of Dean's. A bunch of posters were on the walls, ranging from book characters to game characters to band posters. It wasn't what he had expected from the jock that constantly terrorized him. There was a tall bookshelf pressed to the wall that was filled to the brim with books.

Castiel bent down to look at the titles, recognizing almost every single one of them. There was some heavy deep reading shit in here, something he wouldn't have thought Dean wouldn't have liked. He moved on from the bookshelf, tiptoeing around shirts that were thrown across the floor. Sitting on the bed, Castiel looked around, noticing that he had a Doctor Who blanket. Who knew Dean was such a nerd?

Sam entered then, coming to stand near a desk that had a bunch of papers piled on top of it. Castiel stood up and stood next to him, looking down at the papers. He felt a little bit weird about snooping through Dean's life, but this was what Sam and Charlie wanted, right? He thumbed through the papers, finding childlike drawings of families and a house. Castiel pulled one out that had caught his eye and nearly dropped it when he recognized what it was.

In his hand was a detailed picture of himself, the entire drawing was black and white save for his bright blue eyes. Dean had been drawing him? Why? Castiel's brow scrunched in confusion as he flipped the drawing over. On the back was a note, almost poem like. It said:

 _"Why am I so mean to the blue ocean?_

 _"Why do I fight against the tide, pulling me towards it?_

 _"I want to swim out and drown in the waves,_

 _"But I find that my feet are stuck in the sand._

 _"Oh, Blue Ocean, won't you take me and drown me?_

 _"Take me away from here, don't let me fight you._

 _"The ocean is where I want to be, why am I stuck in the sand?_

 _"I want to be in the water, why am I on land?_

"It was kind of a shitty poem but Castiel could tell what the meaning was behind it. Dean had feelings for him, probably had for a while. Not that this could forgive his actions against Castiel, but he understood now why it felt like he was always targeted. Castiel huffed at the thought and placed the drawing gingerly back on the desk. Next, he looked at a picture that was framed and very old looking.

He picked it up and studied the faces, a man, a woman, and two boys. One was a baby, that was carefully cradled in the woman's arms. The man had a protect arm around the woman, his other hand coming to grip the shoulder of the blonde haired boy. This must be the Winchester's, Castiel thought to himself, and he looked up at Sam to confirm his suspicion. Sam was looking sadly down at the picture, his hands playing with the zipper of his jacket. He looked back at the picture, eyes roaming over it once more before he placed it back down at the desk with care.

A stack of CD's caught his attention, and he moved to look at the names of the bands. They were mostly 80s bands, some names he didn't even recognize though. The ones he did recognize; he knew they rock bands. Castiel could picture Dean singing along to these songs, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel of his beloved car. He smiled at the thought, thinking of Sam in the passenger seat, singing just as loudly.

This Dean was different than what Castiel thought, he was more gentle and careful. His room was a mess but it was clear that the things he cared for were treated gingerly. This Dean had a fierce loyalty to what he knew, and would risk everything for his brother and uncle. It was strange, seeing Dean in this light. He knew Dean loved his brother, but judging on the multiple drawings signed by Sam that were hanging around his room, his love was deeper than he showed.

Castiel looked up at Sam, staring intently before asking, "Why did you bring me here?" Sam shifted on his feet, his hands continuing to play with the zipper for a moment before he answered. "To show you who the real Dean is." Just then, Charlie popped her head in to interrupt Sam's thought, "He's actually a huge geek and not some jerk jock that he acts like." Sam turned to her, obviously annoyed at her interruption but he let her continue. "He feels like he has to mask who he really is to hide all the feelings he has. Let me tell you, that boy is an emotional rollercoaster even though you don't see it."

"Sam held a hand up then to cut her off before continuing himself, "He isn't the person who you know." Castiel moved back to the bed, sitting on it as he controlled his breathing to stave off anxiety. "Why is this important for me to know?" He asked, looking up at the two of them with a raised eyebrow.

They exchanged another look before both came fully into the room. Sam sat on the floor, long legs bent at the knees so he could wrap his arms around them. Charlie sat at the desk, spinning slightly on the office chair. Charlie was the first to speak, voice coming out timidly, "Dean told me that you two were soul mates." Castiel's eyes widened at that. His body went rigid at the subject as he leaned away from the two of them.

Sam was the next to speak, "Charlie texted me when she found you outside, and we both decided that you needed to see who Dean really was." His voice was soft and soothing, eyes showing concern and sadness. It was too much emotion for Castiel, too much had happened that day. He couldn't handle that these people whom he barely knew had known that Castiel was destined to be with Dean.

He squeaked, his voice abandoning him as he stood up. Deciding it wasn't worth an answer, Castiel bolted from the room, flying down the stairs, desperate to get out of this lie. These people had no part of his life, had no right to trick him into this obviously made-up story of the monster that had been terrorizing him for years.

Tears stung his eyes as he thought of the end of his life. There was no way he could be Dean's soulmate. He wasn't the person that Castiel had seen up there, he was the person that constantly beat him up and insulted him. Why did God have to torture him like this? Castiel reached the door, and he was just about to open it when it opened on its own accord. He stepped back in surprise, mouth falling open and eyes widening.

In stepped the one person Castiel most definitely did not want to see right now. Dean saw Castiel almost immediately, his eyes widening in surprise and happiness as he reached forward to grasp the man's shoulders. Castiel threw them off, stepping back in fear from the man. Dean's face fell, and he stood still, eyes shifting to the ground. Footsteps thundered down the stairs until both Sam and Charlie appeared. "Dean." Was Sam's response before he stepped forward and threw his arms around his older brother.

Dean responded slowly, smiling softly as his arms wrapped tightly around his brother. He locked eyes with Charlie, eyebrow raising in a question. Castiel watched and she slightly shook her head, her eyes sad as they shifted over to land on Castiel. He backed away from her, eyes wide and filled with terror. He was trapped, there was no way he could make it past all three of them. Eyes searching wildly for an exit, he didn't notice when Dean came to stand in front of him.

Movement brought his attention back to Dean, though as Dean got down on his knees, head tilted down. Both of his hands came to grip at Castiel's thighs, and he leaned his head against of them. Castiel watched him curiously, body rigid with fear. This would be the point where Dean would swipe Castiel's legs from under his body and he would fall to the floor. Or maybe Dean would shove him enough and he would fall against the wall.

Instead, Dean gripped both of Castiel's hands in his, and he spoke with a scared voice, "Please, Castiel, I know I have treated you like shit forever. But please, forgive me. I can't live without my soul mate; I can't live without em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"you/em." Castiel had forgotten how to breathe, his heart clenching in sympathy for Dean. Here was the object of his nightmares, at his feet and begging for his forgiveness. What could he do?

He did the only thing he could think of. Castiel gently pulled his hands out of Dean's grip and stepped away from him. Dean looked up at him, tears streaming down his face as green eyes watched him with concern. Castiel swallowed, staring down at Dean as he searched for his voice. "I need to think." He glanced back up at Sam and Charlie, scared to see their reaction.

He didn't wait for them to react though, stepping around Dean and sprinting out the front door. He searched for his keys, finding them in his pocket from when Charlie handed them to him. He desperately opened the door, turning on the car quickly and peeling out of the driveway. As soon as he was far enough away from the Winchester house, he let himself break down. Tears burned a pathway down his face, blurring his vison as he blinked to try to see clearly. A sob escaped his throat, Castiel scrunching up his face to fight the growing emotion.

Castiel swerved out of the way of a fallen branch in the road, barely seeing it as his car barreled down onto it. He lost control of the steering wheel, it turning his car sideways. He screamed in fear when the front wheels got caught on something and his car flipped, rolling over onto the back before rolling once more onto the bottom.

It was just tilting to roll again when another force punched the car in the opposite direction, his car going flying and rolling to the other side. It skidded to a stop on its back, glass crunching under Castiel's head. His head felt like it was going to explode, blood was dripping from his chin into his nose. It was tickling his nose, and he scrunched his eyes shut to try to stop from sneezing. The action cause pain to shoot up into his head.

His nose was broken, and something else in his face was too. His left eye was already beginning to swell. A crunching of glass brought his attention to the shattered window next to him. He tried to look at the person leaning down as he became increasingly dizzy. A strong voice spoke in his ears, and he tried to focus on what it was saying but he was slowly losing consciousness. "Oh God. The ambulance is on its way, kid, hang in there."

Castiel couldn't do much but wait, he didn't even bother responding to the man. He tried to move his arms, and found that one of them was pinned behind him. The other was bent at an awkward angle, and was currently numb, thankfully. He shifted his legs, both stuck under where the steering wheel had broken off and lodged itself. Coughing was painful, but Castiel couldn't help the small action that produced blood. The blood ran down his face, dripping painfully into his eyes and streaking everywhere.

He was going to die here. Castiel was scared, his mind turning off slowly. He tried to hang on to the last bit of consciousness that he had, but couldn't help slipping into the deep sleep that promised him comfort.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys, sorry for not posting this sooner, I haven't really been in the mood to write so this is probably going to be really crappy. Not much happens in this chapter. I'll try to get back in the mood but it's been a tough couple of weeks.**

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The first thing Castiel felt was a certain drowsiness that could only have been brought on by some hardcore drugs. His mind was foggy, cogs rusted and unwilling to turn. Unable to think clearly, he decided to try his body. Twitching a finger, much less moving his hand, was such hard work that it left him breathless.

Of course, breathing harder brought some feeling back to his throat and mouth. Which currently had a long tube shoved down it. Immediately his gag reflexes kicked in, pushing against the plastic tube down his throat. His body twitched against his own accord as he fought the feeling of trying to throw up and cough at the same time.

To say the tube was uncomfortable was an understatement, it felt like somebody took their very large finger and shoved it way down his throat. He hadn't yet opened his eyes, instead squeezing them shut as he gagged against the tube. Noises were surrounding him as his hearing turned back on, and he tried to listen to whatever it was.

It was hard, trying to focus on the noises when his throat was constricting painfully. The tube was miraculously slipping out then, Castiel coughing to try and get it out faster. Finally, once out of his mouth, he gagged again and tried to swallow. His voice was coming through the metaphorical shadows now, as it slipped into ears.

"Castiel. Castiel, you need to calm down. Castiel." He turned his head towards the sound, eyes still squeezed shut as he resisted the urge to throw up. "Please. Do not move." He was vaguely aware of his arms and legs being held down, hands pressed harshly into them. Moving his head, he turned and choked out bile as it came streaming out of his mouth.

A bucket was placed carefully under his head, where his mouth was, and caught the contents. A hand stroked through his hair, pushing back the sweaty locks from his forehead. His stomach gave one last painful heave as it emptied the non-existent contents into the tin. His body relaxed then, muscles unclenching and unmoving.

He opened his eyes, squinting against the burning light that immediately filled his vision. As he adjusted to the light, the shapes around him became more in focus. An older man with glasses and a snaggle-tooth was directly above him. He was wearing light blue scrubs and a cap that covered his head. He must be the doctor. Castiel focused on him, ignoring the other shapes around him.

The doctor raised a finger, Castiel's eyes tracking it as it was moved back and forth over his vision. "Good, Castiel can you tell me your full name?" He only stared up at the doctor, eyes wide and frightened. Nothing was coming to his mind, he honestly couldn't think of what his last name was.

 _What was it?_ His mind was slowly catching up to what was happening around him, the noises and flashes of light that would momentarily distract him. It was nauseating to focus on all that was happening. He tried to pick one thing to focus on, a deep voice next to him. It was familiar and soothing, wrapping Castiel in a comfort blanket.

He tried to turn his head but found that he couldn't, a wall of white foam blocking his movement. A neck brace was the words his brain supplied him. It wasn't a comforting thought to be in a neck brace, if he was that meant he was seriously injured. Castiel tried to lift his hand to reach out to the voice next to him but found that he couldn't.

His arm was also in some type of brace, a bar holding it in place. Panic filled Castiel's chest as he tested each of his limbs. They were all in a brace, being held still by a bar that connected to each other. He looked back up to the doctor, hoping his eyes portrayed his question.

"Yes, you are in a body cast, Castiel." The doctor spoke softly, hand coming to rest against Castiel's cheek. He flinched away, sensitive to being touched. He caught the doctors' eyes once more, staring up at him silently. "You were in an accident, Castiel." Why did he keep saying his name? He scrunched his brow, squeezing his eyes shut and wrinkling his nose.

 _Castiel._ That was obviously his name, he knew that, but he still couldn't conjure the name to go along with it. The noises around Castiel quieted, moving away from him like a whispering ghost. Soon, it was just Castiel and the doctor, whom continued to watch him. He was uncomfortable.

"Do you remember the accident?" The doctor asked, eyes shifting between Castiel's face and the clipboard at his hip. Castiel looked down at his nose, mind drawing a picture of what happened. He remembered the pain, burning tears in his eyes, a sudden feeling of weightlessness. It wasn't enough, he wasn't sure why he was driving then. Something must have happened for Castiel to be so reckless.

Dean Winchester. The name popped into Castiel's head as he tried to remember the events that led up to the accident. Dean was the guy that constantly terrorized Castiel at school, calling him names and hitting him. He remembers the bathroom, finding out that Dean was his soul mate. That was impossible though, there was no way Castiel would be paired with the guy he feared.

He remembers how Dean broke down, throwing his body against Castiel in an attempt to make him stay. The wet tears had soaked through Castiel's shirt as Dean cried on him. The house with Sam and Charlie came next, and he thought of the poem Dean wrote. About him? Dean had come home and broke down again.

Castiel ran away from Dean, that's what caused the accident. He came back to his body, feeling the heavy weight that settled all throughout his body. There was no pain, just a dull ache that he felt to his bones. Where was Dean? Castiel looked up from his nose, staring up at the doctor with a furrowed brow. He didn't even try to open his mouth, knowing that it would feel like taffy had glued it shut.

"Mmmhph." Castiel rumbled, eyes hardening with determination. The doctor looked at him, pausing for a moment. He was obviously confused at the noise, probably not expecting Castiel to try to talk already. Castiel tried again, "mmeeeeeaaph" It was a pathetic attempt but it was better than nothing.

The doctor's eyes brightened as he realized what Castiel was trying to say. "Are you asking for Dean?" Castiel paused, annoyed that the doctor asked him a question that he obviously couldn't answer. "mmah." He huffed in annoyance, face clearly showing his emotion. "Oh, you can't talk." The doctor mumbled, ideas running through his head to help Castiel answer. "Okay, blink one for yes and two for no." He said, smiling like he was obviously proud of himself.

Castiel rolled his eyes, _was this doctor even competent enough to be a doctor?_ He blinked once, blue eyes glaring up at the doctor. The doctor nodded above him, smiling softly as he stage-whispered, "I'll go get him."

He left the room, leaving Castiel in a crushing silence. The steady beep of the heart monitor was going to drive him insane. Time ticked on as Castiel waited for the doctor to return. Having free time, Castiel thought over all he knew about Dean Winchester. On the outside, Dean was a hardcore, no-love piece of shit that terrorized all small and dorky kids at school.

Dean was devastatingly handsome, so much so that even guys would fawn over his beauty. He was known for hooking up with girls and dropping them right away. He was 6 months past his birthday and yet a soul mate had not been presented. He had been in most everyone's pants and people never once called him a whore. Stereotypes.

On the inside though, Castiel knew Dean was as soft as a plushy teddy bear. He was gentle was Sam and all his true friends, like Charlie. He was a bit of a nerd and kept a certain artistic side hidden. He was goofy, had a weird music taste, and overall was an okay guy. And he was Castiel's soul mate.

It was Castiel's own fault that he got into this accident, it never would have happened if he had not run away from them. What was it that Dean said? ' _I can't live without my soul mate; I can't live without_ you _.'_ What if that was true? If Castiel rejected Dean, how would he take it? How would Castiel feel? Before this week, he couldn't imagine living without his soulmate. It almost never happened.

Whatever was going to happen, Castiel couldn't solve it in one day, and especially not without Dean. Speaking of Dean, where was he? The doctor has been gone for some time now. He was supposed to come back with Dean and yet they were not here. He looked up at the clock that hung on the wall. It was well past midnight, perhaps Dean was not even here.

If that's the case, he had hoped the doctor would at least come back to tell him that. He waited, fiddling with the blanket on top of him. Listening to the footsteps outside his room, he wondered if any of them would be Dean. He watched the door, eyes half lidded with sleepiness.

Sleep was overcoming him slowly; it began to weigh heavily on his bones. He must have been pretty drugged up, because usually he found it very hard to sleep in hospitals. He licked his dry lips, closing his eyes and nestling into deeper into his pillow. Perhaps just a nap before the doctor came back?

Yeah, that sounded nice. He would talk to Dean later, right now, he was going to sleep. It was nice to just lay back and _Zzzzzzz_ ….


End file.
